A large part of my anxiety was the result of “What if”-ing myself to death. “What if this happens?” “What if that happens?” “What if she doesn’t like the work that I did?” “What if I don’t measure up?”

I cannot describe the incredible feeling of relief when I learned to replace “What if…?” with “So what?”

Now, this is not a sarcastic, belligerent, “So what?” No. It’s said with a shrug of the shoulders, a small smile, and a willingness to move on. For instance …

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Question: “What if I relapse into bad habits and trigger an anxiety attack?”

Answer: “So what? Then I’ll get up again, put it behind me, and move on.”

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Question: “What if I set a boundary in a relationship to protect myself, and the other person throws a hissy fit?”

Answer: “So what? If it happens, I’ll deal with it, but the boundary is there to protect myself, and I’m sticking with it.”

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Question: “What if I’m not perfect?”

Answer: “So what? Who is? I never will be perfect, and that’s okay.”

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“So what?” is simply a way of restoring balance to life. “What if …?” makes me live in the world of extremes, worries, fears, and pressures. “So what?” let’s me live in the now, in an imperfect world, with what and who I am.